It is time to go out, yes, out in public. You cringe at the thought of seeing any familiar faces. Why? Because let's be real, anyone outside of your family just doesn't get "it," and to put it plainly, they don't get you. Whatever it was you were good at before that people have come to know you by, has all been taken away, and almost makes you feel as though you are having an identity crisis. You feel the judging eyes of strangers and acquaintances even more. "What's up with her?" they might question, yet rarely take the time to actually invest in you to find out. Do people see a sick person? Usually not. Typically they say oh, "you look so good." However, this is where the fact of not caring what people think, truly comes into play. Now, this does not mean to never stick up for yourself and get the proper treatment for your illness, but rather, look beyond those on the outside never fully knowing, or "getting" everything you're going through. In the long run, all that really matters is that you are trying. This does not necessarily mean to look "good" according to societies standards, but to live, regardless of your illness, to the best of your ability at serving God.
That being said, having a chronic illness with seemingly never-ending symptoms and complications can get discouraging, not only for you, but those around you. When this happens, we as the patient tend to feel like more a burden than a blessing to those that are in contact with us. However, it is in these times where we feel like we can't please or make anyone happy, that we must to stop worrying about what those around us think, and refocus our eyes solely on God. Instead of trying to make sure everyone around has everything straight and figured out about us, it is important to realize all that really matters is your relationship with God, and how you are striving to live according to His will and His perfect plan for your life right here and now. When we do this, and choose to put Him above all other human opinions and feelings, we find our true identity once more. No longer does does the who, what, where, when, and why's of being sick really matter. People's opinions of how you look, feel, and are living up to their "standards," no longer have control over your life. In the end, you've given the reigns over to God, simultaneously allowing you to live life confident and bold, knowing that He is holding and directing your every move. Find your identity in Him, and the cares and suffering of today's world will slip to the way side.
Psalm 139:1-3 "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways."
You are such an inspiration. You are truly a woman after God's own heart! May you feel energy and strength today as you follow where God leads you!!! YOU ARE MY HERO!!!
ReplyDeleteI forgot a HUG!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. May God bless and heal you.
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