There comes a time in one's journey to find healing that the question arises, "will I ever get better?" As someone who deals with the effects of chronic Lyme on a daily basis, I personally can attest to how difficult it is to address this question head on. Truly, even before one gets a diagnosis, it is finding true health that is the ultimate goal. Yet, as weeks turn into months, and months into years, the sense that healing is possible becomes depleted. Frustrated with the painful symptoms that just won't let up, and hopeful that for once, a doctor will somehow figure out what is wrong and know how to fix it, easily overtakes the once hopeful outlook on life. We get sad, mad, and fed up all at the same time, and can't seem to understand why God would allow things to go on for so long. Ultimately, we don't know how the journey of our illness will end, whether we will be able to be healthy once more, or if this state of weakness and inability to live like a "normal" human being will always overtaking our body. It is only natural to feel discouraged by this, however, there is another way we can view this uncertainty of events, and that is with faith and surrender. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying to give up on finding treatment and mechanisms to help your condition, but rather, accept what God has in store with a willing heart, regardless of the outcome. Though we should always remain optimistic and hopeful for healing, realizing that there is a possibility that getting back to feeling "normal" may not be reality. Yet, if this is the case, than we need not succumb to how depression it may seem from a physical standpoint, but realize that it may just be the way God is using us to our fullest. Never once are we left hopeless and without help, as just like the unchanging nature of our illness, God's promises remain. It is not to say that we should stop asking Him for healing, but rather, change our perception on what His answer will be. Is the overall goal of praying to simply get what we think we need to survive, or is it to truly find out what God has in store for our lives, regardless of His answer?
God says that He will never leave us or forsake us, will always give us strength and love through all things, as well as peace, wisdom, and contentment, even when life is crashing in. Ultimately, even if we remain sick, God is using it to bring out the best in our life. Though being healthy might seem like the best way to live life in man's eyes, God is bringing you through this illness as a way to bring out your maximum potential in life. Without this illness, the perfect plan that was in store for you ever since birth, would be incomplete. Therefore, despite whether or not God brings true healing, He is right there with you, helping you, and directing your every move. I am not going to lie, being sick for a lifetime can make anyone want to cry, as I myself have dealt with the overwhelming feeling of despair that comes along with the mere thought. Yet we must remember that God didn't give us, His very children, trials in life to go through on our own, but rather so that He could prove His everlasting goodness in and through us. Regardless of if you have a chronic illness or not, life will always be what we don't expect, simply because it is ultimately not directed by our doing. Therefore, viewing a chronic illness as an inconvenient, horrible, and impossible endeavor, ultimately takes away from the blessings that God has in store through that time. He is not being cruel, no, He is simply fulfilling His promises, and giving you the tools you need to succeed in life. Even if the healing does not come, God is faithful, and we can be confident that it is through a given chronic illness that we can become all that we were meant to be. In the end, all that we must do is surrender and be open to the truly amazing, limitless plans that God has in store, regardless of how they fit our earthly framework. If you are having trouble dealing with the debilitating daily symptoms like myself, I encourage you to cry out to God, because He is there ready and waiting to help you walk boldly and conquer the life He has in store. In the end, a lifetime of surrender and hardship is far out weighed by the glorious eternity in heaven that we will spend with our Savior if we simply believe.
Matthew 26:39 "And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
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